[Portage, March 15,
Tiz the Ides, and the dog sprawls regally,
Next to the fence, watching me bag
That which he deposited
Since November last, effluvial
Mega-pounds, holykowabongalossal kilos.
Great heaping gobs of greasy shit
Layering the crab grass like a topside carpet pad
A worthless fertilizer, this stuff so thick
It will take a thousand years to fall apart
And give suck to the earth.
I imagine that sonovabitch
Over there is almost smiling,
His leavings on my hands, boots, pants,
Ubiquitous, this glutinous crap
And then as all inspiration comes
Floating from the nether blue,
It occurs to me that there’s a biz
In this: Dogdusthaulers Inc,
“We remove winter’s ugly reminders.”
Hell, I’d pay to have someone do this
For me and then sit beside the dog
With a mint julep in hand and supervise,
From time to time uttering the call
To war. Hooah, get SOME!
Or like dude,
Ya missed that big yellow sucker
Over to your right?