The Official Site of Author Joseph Heywood-Non Fiction

[Portage, September 15, 2009]

Stop all your foolin’ around, Cuchulainn,
Summon up that famous warp spasm,
Writ reastrad in Gaelic, that deal where
Your body twitches ferociously,
One eyeball sinking deep into your brain,
The other hanging down your bulging cheek,
Your mouth so wide your foes can see inside.
Show that bad boy to us forthwith boyo
Help the trout hiding deep below to know
What comes next is a most horrific blow,
The one that dispatched the Hound of Culain
Very soon to be unleashed again.
As Oyrish, we know without slightest doubt,
Such tricks sometimes needed to take some trout.